ah yes, how could I forget my favorite homestuck au, finalsstuck,

In case anyone’s curious, Finalsstuck is a post-game pre-act-7 divergent au where everyone still has their powers and memories but they’ve escaped the game and fully integrated themselves into a remade Earth with significant populations of trolls, carapaces, and cherubim. But as the cast of Homestuck slowly adapts to life as normal kids on a nonviolent planet, they encounter a new threat: the rigorous and unforgiving world of higher education.

As the end of the semester draws near, the tensions and stress levels mount, and the number of moral quandaries doesn’t keep from getting bigger. Can Rose and John convince Dave to use the time travel powers he promised to give up just this once, so that he can get some fucking sleep? Is it really a good or safe idea for Jade to teleport across campus in her rush to submit her physics final? If Jake wills so much for his answers on the test to be right that he changes the structure of the universe, is that fair to the other students? And what will Terezi do when she realizes that Vriska is using her luck powers to cheat on her multiple choice exam?

Finalsstuck. Coming this May to a university near you.

#dirk drinks like 10 energy drinks in a row#if i die i’ll just come back it’s fine guys#homestuck#this is too relatable rn#AU 

Dirk arrogantly registering for an ungodly number of credit-hours. Dirk splintering to cover them all. Dirk splintering to work jobs to pay to house and feed all of himself. Dirk in every class. In every business. Dirk Everywhere. Dirks slowly, implacably, growing to hate each other. The Dirkocalypse of Finals Week 😐 😐 😐

god i needed this post in my life

ovo ovo ovo

Other Highlights I Just Thought Up:

  • Jake Literally cannot escape Dirk. Every morning crossing the quad: Dirk. Every hallway he sits in, waiting for his classes: Dirk. Dirk in the registrar’s office. Dirk cleaning the floors in the Admin building. Dirk serving food at his dorm. Every corner he turns: Dirk. Dirk promises he isn’t stalking him, he swears! It’s just that, by total coincidence, all the Splinter-Dirks have decided to build their schedules to naturally, coincidentally, cross Jake’s path. But they don’t talk to each other, of course, so two or more Dirks all “happening to bump into” Jake happens pretty often. This becomes one of their major sources of conflict 😐
  • Running gag for Jane: she goes to the Registrar’s office to work out a hiccup in her class schedule. Leaves office having, somehow, gained a job at the Registrar’s Office.
    Every time one of the POV characters runs into her, she’s been promoted.

    Two weeks later she is the Registrar. By halfway through the semester, she’s the University Comptroller. By finals week she’s the President. What happened to the previous University President? No one knows 😐 😐

  • Roxy practically disappears after registration.
    She exists  as texts and chats, and drunk selfies from college parties.

    Calliope and the CompSci crew(John, Karkat, Equius[multi-disciplinary; Engineering and CompSci focusing on robotics, AI, and data-compression], Sollux[CompSci and Bio with a genetics focus], and Dirk, because Dirk is pursuing a Bachelor’s in Everything. Except at the Business school, cause those aren’t real degrees u_u) don’t see what the problem is; they see her All the Time.  Roxy is blowing off all her other classes and practically living out of the CompSci building. She becomes an urban legend. Spoken of in hushed whispers by other undergrads, the coding Sasquatch, encountered only as a flash of color slipping around the corner having snortched all the snacks from the vending machines at 2am when you’re pulling an all-nighter or, when it is absolutely as awkward as possible like when you’re trying to get to the bathroom or have to print something out, arguing scatalogically, mockingly, and to great heat with a tall, lanky, bifurcated troll about things waaaaaay too advanced for undergrads to be arguing about, and standing right in front of where you need to get to. Somehow, she is still acing all her other courses, even though she never attends them 😐 😐 😐

  • Caliborn attends the Business School 😐 He plans on going into Law 😐 😐 He gets a job at the campus Conservative student paper 😐 😐 😐 He becomes it’s editor, and the levels of angry underlying homoeroticism somehow manage to increase. Gamzee becomes its Cartoonist, Kurloz and Meulin are staff writers, Damara is their only Reporter and Factchecker and she hates all of them(but she hates everyone so…). Caliborn joins, and is unanimously elected the head of, the campus Chapter of the Young Republicans. Under his leadership the number of “Protests” that are really personal harassment increase by 9999%(Which is p much all Campus Republicans do anyway, so there are an absolute FUCKTON of them by Finals week).

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