Also Romeo and Juliet are a couple that killed themselves.
Don’t aim for fictional relationships
Aim for a real one.
Harley’s love for the Joker and her willingness to tolerate his abuse was always very deliberately presented to be deeply unhealthy and tragic:
The Joker is not her love interest – he is her origin story. He is what formed her and made her the person she is today – but he is NOT her love interest, he is her abuser.
And in later arcs, she has left him behind for good:
She is now in a happy polyamorous relationship with Poison Ivy and a new character, Mason.
Harley Quinn has grown so much over the years, and I am really proud of her as a character and think she showed so much strength to grow past her obsession with the Joker and become her own woman, totally true to herself and refusing to have her narrative revolve around someone else’s life.
So if you look up to Harley Quinn and see yourself in her, I think that’s great, but Harley Quinn isn’t amazing because she’s obsessed with the Joker, Harley Quinn is amazing because Harleen Quinzel is amazing.