sakura&sasuke urban fantasy

tozettewrites:

Idk, I’m really tired. But I wrote this thing so pls have this thing.


Konan comes to see them about a job, and Sakura doesn’t like her. 

It sounds, on paper, pretty normal: lay some ghosts, get paid. Sasuke and Sakura don’t always do exorcisms, but people die all the time, they leave ghosts behind pretty often, and it’s a bread and butter kind of business for them. Not everything can be poking destiny with sticks and asking the dead about buried treasure.

Sakura really doesn’t like Konan, though. It’s not her manners, it’s not her request, it’s not even her occupation that seems worryingly closely connected with big organised crime. Sakura even thinks Konan’s beautiful to look at: pretty face, grave eyes, carefully put together. Her hair’s dyed all the way down to its roots, her makeup is flawless, and there’s an elegance in her manner that Sakura will never be able to imitate.

That is not why she doesn’t like her. Sakura’s always been plain and she hasn’t gotten upset about women prettier than her since that one awkward time with the succubus.

No, it’s because Konan walks through the door and Sasuke goes completely, utterly still.

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tozettewrites:

tozettewrites:

I’ve had a surprising number of comments and questions about Jashinist sacrifice of civilians vs ninja following chapter 12 of Dirt and Ashes.

While you’re welcome to make your own interpretation as you like, my theory is a little like this:

~*Sacrifices are like giving Jashin-sama beautiful gifts to remind him that you love him.

THANK YOU, TUMBLR MOBILE, FOR CUTTING OFF LIKE 80% OF MY POST YET AGAIN.

Man, what is tumblr mobile even. Okay, here is the post in full:

I’ve had a surprising number of comments and questions about Jashinist
sacrifice of civilians vs ninja following chapter 12 of Dirt and Ashes.

While you’re welcome to make your own interpretation as you like, my intention was this: Sacrifices are like giving Jashin-sama beautiful gifts to remind him that you love him~

Okay, no. But yes, sort of. To
be honest, there is an assumption here that there must be some deific
economy of death and power in the Narutoverse – we see that the shinigami
takes human sacrifice as payment, too. (Worth thinking about in more
depth in another fic, perhaps. Eee.)

Anyway, you
don’t pay Jashin if you’re one of his actual followers – you gift
sacrifices to him to win his favour. He loves the people who’ve suffered
the best – some kind of sympathetic energy, perhaps? – but a human life
is, ultimately, a pretty big deal in and of itself.

So,
furthering the gift-giving metaphor, Hidan is that dude who goes:
“Okay, my bestie likes chocolate! Sure.” And then he goes and gets a
shit heap of chocolate and it’s just, you know, whatever’s on sale.

Hey,
it’s chocolate. It’s not like receiving a less-preferred brand makes
your day materially worse, right? Somebody bought you chocolate. Yay!

Sakura
is the opposite. She remembers the brand you had that one time she was
at your house, or otherwise she goes online and looks up the best loved
chocolate in your demographic. Not available here? Well, that’s all
right. She only gets you a couple of gifts a year – she’ll order it in
and pick it up in time to give it to you. It will be wrapped as best as
she can do it, and her card will be handmade in careful calligraphy.

From
Sakura’s perspective, Hidan’s sacrifice of civilians doesn’t really
show the same devotion as her desire to hand-pick somebody really
perfectly appropriate. Sakura wants to find somebody lovely, somebody
whose suffering has built them into a monument to Jashin’s agony. In
general, that’s just not a civilian. Sometimes, maybe? But not usually.
And yes, part of that may well be that Sakura wants to kill people
who’ve done something (in her view) to deserve it.

But Jashin
understands that desire and he likes shiny things so he’ll encourage it.
Yes, ninja ARE better than civilian sacrifices. What a good Sakura. ❤

Hidan
knows a valuable sacrifice when he sees one (see: Itachi) but he sorta
likes showering Jashin-sama with little things he knows he’ll like just,
like, whenever. HIDAN SAW THIS AND THOUGHT OF YOU, JASHIN-SAMA. HE JUST
COULDN’T HELP HIMSELF.

Just imagine our
grim-faced God of suffering touching his lips, eyes bright and skin
flushed, and murmuring: “You shouldn’t have,” every time Hidan
sacrifices someone. You’re welcome

I remember having watched it for 100 episodes and abandoning because seriously nothing was happening and I didn’t have so much time to waste even then
I’m just not interested in ninjas I’M SORRY GUYS JUST NOT MY AESTETIC
and this chart is so adorable
“what the fuck even is the plot of this show?”
they know
they just don’t care they still love it

aaa I just want to hug this post it’s so cute