Concept: Maybe “neurotypicals” who consistently reblog post about autism and other mental disorders and illnesses because they relate to them actually aren’t neurotypical, and just don’t know it.
Even the ones who say, “But everyone does this!” might only be saying it because they do it, and therefore think everyone does, when that’s not the reality.
Like, I remember someone who very obviously had OCD saying, “Everyone gets constant, upsetting intrusive thoughts, and does things to make them go away! It’s normal!” and everyone who responded to them were like, “Uh… No, it’s really not. You have a mental illness.”
I hate how everyone is so quick to assume anyone who relates to their posts without having every aspect of their mental state listed on their blog is obviously an evil, appropriating neurotypical. Maybe they are technically neurotypical, but have one or two traits associated with whatever form of neurodivergence. Maybe they’re neurodivergent and just don’t feel like listing it. Maybe they think they’re neurotypical, and are in the process of realising that they actually aren’t.
Please don’t be so quick to judge. This gatekeeping helps no one.
This is an extremely important point.
I know at least one trans person who didn’t realize they were trans until they were talking about how much they relate to trans things. Only, it was in the context of being dismissive of trans people. “Oh, sure, of course you prefer those pronouns. Everyone does.” But that wasn’t a cis person being dismissive of trans experiences; it was a trans person not understanding that they were trans.
Same thing with a lot of mental illness stuff.
Honestly, if you relate to an experience, you have the experience. Doesn’t matter whether you have it for the same reason someone else does.
On a similar note that I was thinking about recently: perhaps some neurodivergent people who are dismissed by their parents have neurodivergent parents who don’t know it. Like, if your mom says “everyone has that” when you tell her about your depression, there’s a decent chance that she’s not minimizing you, she just has depression herself and doesn’t realize it.
Bless you all
Also important to note that not everyone lists these things on their blog.
Ive had someone angrily come at me in messages because I was reblogging BPD posts when I “didn’t have BPD” but when I explained that I do, in fact, have Borderline Personality Disorder, they were apologetic but that doesn’t take back the distress their ask caused. Same thing with gender issues.
Please don’t assume that everyone on tumblr is willing to list their mental illnesses on their sidebar like a badge.
On the subject of dismissal by parents that is absolutely a true thing that I have experienced. My dad and I both have ADHD and we only both found out when I got diagnosed like a month ago. He’s always really supportive but I’ve had a lot of really painful conversations with him where he’d be telling me the whole “that’s normal everyone gets that” thing, and it was pretty much because he’d been living his whole life with ADHD and had no clue. People judge what’s normal based on their own experiences, and because everyone tries to manage and hide the things they’re struggling with, it’s easy to assume everyone is dealing with the same problems as you when they might not be.
I learnt autism is not diagnosed the same in amab and afab people because of a tumblr post
I didn’t know stimming and sensory overload had names
I didn’t know until THIS YEAR that getting blindly and wildly FURIOUS when being interrupted while concentrating isn’t a failure of me as a human being but a symptom of focus/concentration/sensory overload difficulties.
I thought everyone had to go through that and they were just coping better.
me: a relationship that is based on mutual love and trust and features both parties wanting to improve not just themselves but each other through their love, is good and interesting no matter if it’s a straight relationship or a relationship between two men or two women, and is infinitely more satisfying to watch develop in fiction compared to two characters who hate each other and continue to do so into their romantic relationship
The Straights™: not me 😄 I love relationships 👬👫 where both 2️⃣ parties ✌️ DESPISE 💔 EACH 👻 OTHER 😾 and cant STAND ⚡️ interacting 🙅 with one🌜another 🌛!!!! it’s even better 👌👌 when they are so toxic for each other 😷 that they hurt one another 💅
write in the tags what you used to do on the internet before tumblr
please explain how a cisgender straight ace is LGBT.
Are they a lesbian? no, because they’re straight.
Are they gay? no, because they’re straight.
Are they bisexual? no, because they’re straight.
Are they trans? no, because they’re cis.
Therefore, they’re not LGBT.
If you’re a cishet ace/aro you’re not LGBT and you can not reclaim slurs targeted towards LGBT people. Period.
Kid, you’re wasting your time. At this point, even mainstream LGBTQIA+ organizations explicitly disagree with you.
Even if I were interested in beating this long-dead horse with a total stranger, your attempt to challenge me, a random person occasionally on tumblr, to a Discourse Duel would not have any kind of meaningful impact on ~whether or not ace and aro people are LGBT~.
Like, hate to break it to you, but neither of us has that kind of power.
Get a new hobby. I suggest video games.
the old “kid” as an introduction I see
Don’t cut yourself on all that edge.
Anyway, just because a majority agrees with someone doesn’t mean they’re right.
You’re acting like I just showed up to kick your ass out of nowhere or something. You followed me first, friend.
oh also: a-spec means autism spectrum, not ace spectrum. will the aces ever make their own terminology instead of appropriating it from terms coined by the autism community?
You absolutely did, in fact, show up out of nowhere. If you aren’t familiar with tumblr glitches, let me promise you: I didn’t actually follow you. I have no idea who you are, except that you’re 18, according to your own about, which, you know, makes you like half my age, so, “kid”, but sure, call that “edge”.
You’re also very confused! Let me try again.
1.) Major LGBTQIA+ organizations agree that ace and aro people are inherently LGBTQIA+.
2.) You challenging me to “explain” why they are won’t change that or, indeed, accomplish anything at all.
3.) Like, literally, even if you somehow “defeat” me in a “debate”, it won’t matter. It won’t make ace and aro people suddenly less LGBTQIA+. It won’t convince GLAAD they’re wrong.
It certainly won’t convince any of the rest of the world, where they use their own acronyms, and don’t particularly care who you or I think is “LGBT”.
This avenue of “attack” is a complete waste of your time, and you will get nothing out of continuing to demand I answer your petty, sad questions, except a few more seconds of attention from a stranger. (I hope that’s somehow satisfying.)
4.) So when I say “even mainstream organizations disagree with you” and “debating me won’t change that”, it’s less of me saying “the majority is always right” (tho that’s a fine straw man), and more of me saying,
“the people who invited you to think that challenging random people to Tumblr duels was a good way of getting ~the evil straight cis spies~ out of our community lied to you. You’re accomplishing absolutely nothing this way. You’re wasting your time.”
Again: dead horse. Again: find a new hobby.
OP is not ready for lateral oppression, or the fact that lots of people within the lgbt community are there with oppressors and people who have positions of privilege unavailable to them. Trans people with cis people, poc with white people, women with men, mentally ill with neurotypical.
What the people within all have in common is that we face abuse and oppression on the basis or gender or sexuality, we find and make communities within them but none of us will EVER truly be safe. No fucking way.
We also gave it from within, the umbrella of “LGBT” has never and will never be a safe space for me and for most others. We have faced abuse from people within our own so-called “community” that is just as dangerous as without, because it perpetuates the same negative stereotypes and tropes that put our lives, safety and well-being at risk.
We are not a safe community, we are a loose collective with varied political and ideological beliefs and a vague historical connection.
Yeah, OP’s full of completely wrong ideas, but I didn’t even want to be bothered, you know? If they’d actually cared, I’ve addressed this at length before, and they could’ve searched my blog instead of screen shotting my about and @‘ing me accusatorially.
They haven’t replied to this yet, though they did angrily reply to some other folks who tried to actually address what could be laughingly called their “arguments”.
Surprise surprise, OP doesn’t want answers or a conversation, OP just wants people to yell at and feel morally superior to.
I actually did care but didn’t see this in my notifications. But sure, blame a failure of this hellsite on me not responding.
I literally screenshotted your about and @’d you because you are the one that followed me. I check out my new followers’ blogs and was wondering why someone on the other side of the discourse is following me (and then you unfollowed me and plugged your ears when I said you were the one that showed up out of nowhere)
I’m pretty much constantly angry thanks to a slew of mental issues so thanks for pointing my irrelevant aggression out, btw.
To respond, now.
“OP is not ready for lateral oppression, or the fact that lots of people within the lgbt community are there with oppressors and people who have positions of privilege unavailable to them. Trans people with cis people, poc with white people, women with men, mentally ill with neurotypical.”
This is true, people in the lgbt community will be with their oppressors. But it’s a different kind of oppression. Yes, intersectionality exists, but the lgbt community is FOR LGBT PEOPLE. Whether they are white or poc, mentally ill or neurotypical, a woman or a man or an enby. You’re essentially saying “People are going to be with their oppressors anyway so why not let the cishets in!”
I don’t think you realize how ridiculous that is.
see, here’s the thing
straightness is not only lack of attraction to your own gender (which is presumed binary in this construction)
it’s also the presence of attraction to the ‘opposite’ gender
‘confirmed bachelor’ used to be euphemism for ‘gay’ because being attracted to women is just as important to the straight identity as not being attracted to men
and straight guys hating on lesbians for being sexually unavaliable to them – what makes you think it’s in any way different with asexual girls?
(I’m only covering binary gender here bc the right of nb people to the umbrella of the LGBT+ community isn’t even in question is it)
I know what straightness is but thanks for your patronizing explanation.
I LITERALLY never said that ALL aces are straight but apparently you can’t read.
“and straight guys hating on lesbians for being sexually unavaliable to them – what makes you think it’s in any way different with asexual girls?“
That’s misogyny, not acephobia.
I am literally nonbinary so don’t even start with “nonbinary erasure” when I, a nonbinary person, am telling you this
If you are nonbinary, you’re LGBT. The T stands for trans. nonbinary people are trans. There you go. I’m not trying to kick people out FOR BEING ace, I am literally just saying “being ace does not inherently make you LGBT, but it also doesn’t negate the fact if you ARE lgbt” but again, apparently you can’t read so I have no clue why I waste my breath.
Okay, I’m going to ignore the personal insults here because I’m naive and generous like that, and try to clarify what my point was.
Aces are part of the community that is currently called “LGBT” because they also experience oppression for not being straight.
The acronym itself is not relevant to this question, and is in fact a product of it rather than any basis for making decision. It was expanded before it was LGBT, and it has been expanded since.
(Also, sorry if I said something off about nonbinary experiences. I was trying to talk about cis aces.)
None of that was a personal attack but alright.
If you accept that there are gay aces, lesbian aces, bisexual aces, and pansexual aces, you must also accept that there are straight or heterosexual aces. It’s common sense.
(cis) Straight aces are not LGBT. They can not reclaim slurs applied to sga people.
If they are a trans straight ace, they’re LGBT because they are trans.
Being ace alone doesn’t make you LGBT because it’s not an orientation, it’s literally just “I don’t experience sexual attraction”
That is all it is. I don’t know if I previously said, but I myself am a sapphic grey-ace. If someone asks me my orientation I’m just going to say, “I like girls.”
That’s it. They don’t need to know if I’m ace. No one needs to know if you are sexually attracted to people or not. What does matter is if you are attracted to anyone, who?
Lack of attraction doesn’t make you queer.
But it does.
The difference between bi people and straight people is the straight people’s LACK of attraction to their own gender. If a difference between two things is in whether something’s present, then the absence of it is just as characteristic.
Here’s how I would model it:
Seriously, saying ‘not being attracted to anyone ever is not enough to differentiate sexual orientation of aces’ is more or less parallel in logic to saying ‘not being attracted to men ever is not enough to differentiate lesbians from bi people’, or even more absurd ‘not being attracted to men ever is not enough to differentiate straight guys from bi guys’ like buddy I also wish that’s how our society worked…
And yes, if there are lesbian, bi and gay aces, there are also hetero aces. Much like how there are lesbian, bi, gay and hetero trans people. And hetero trans people are still LGBT+, because the ‘trans’ part makes it. And hetero aces are still LGBT+, because the ‘ace’ part makes it.
Having the descriptor ‘hetero’ or ‘cis’ in your identity does not exclude you from being LGBT+. The question is whether something is PRESENT that makes you LGBT+ – you can be both cis and hetero and still be LGBT+, see: intersex people. And aces.
Just because you, personally, don’t feel like you need the support of the LGBT+ community for the ace spectrum part of your identity, doesn’t mean others don’t. You actually know for a fact that they do, because that’s what you targetedly argue against. Why?
Further tales from my brother’s DnD adventures: one of his friends had a character that was two gnomes in a trench coat. Even the DM didn’t know (despite the player’s comment that his character had abnormally short arms, and his penchant for asking WHERE enemies had landed a hit) until one of them died.