there’s this fandom thinking phenomenon when every time a protagonist encounters a new interesting character that’s described as halfway attractive, a ship is born

a practical guide to evil weaponizes this and all the ships are femslash

an incomplete list of ships born this way, both savory and not very

– Cat/Malicia, a huge age gap and many other problems beside but Malicia is a lesbian and like. it IS the kind of fucked up dynamic that fandom pounces on, I have all too much proof of that

– Cat/Akua, almost offensively obvious Foe Yay. like, Catherine goes on a description of her very attractive appearance every single time they meet, and then hastily spends a paragraph clarifying that she will STILL murder her to death the minute she gets a chance. meanwhile Akua has literally uttered a phrase ‘you will never like me but you will learn to love me’ when she believes she has Cat’s free will bound. and then Cat reverses it on her and Akua actually leans into it? like. what the fuck. it’s literally canon, even if their crush on each other is non-mutual. it’s a fucking running gag!!! The Harry/Draco of this series if it was actually canon

– Cat/Killian, which unfortunately died a slow death of ‘they became girlfriends and Killian’s personality immediately mysteriously vanished until they broke up’, but nonetheless started as ‘oh hey hot girl’ ‘oh man it would be NEAT if she liked her back’ ‘OH SHIT SHE LIKES HER BACK’ fandom-wish-fulfillment

– Cat/Aisha, which is not canon but damn if Cat doesn’t periodically drop a ‘lovely’ or ‘beautiful’ in her pov concerning her. There’s fuel there if you want it, and Aisha is a fascinating character in her own right

– Cat/Juniper is an excellent besties ship, and there are so many problems with this – JUNIPER IS AN ORC AND ORCS DON’T FIND HUMANS ATTRACTIVE AND VICE VERSA – that someone, somewhere, has definitely written a fic about it

– Cat/Hune is absolute crack. ‘Nuff said

– Cat/Vivienne. Literally canon one-sided pining on Cat’s side as she sighs about the fact that Vivienne is so straight you can use her as a ruler (actual quote). Very cute

– Cat/Indrani. A ship to end all ships, and the fact that the OTP involving Indrani is the one with Masego does absolutely nothing to prevent the poly option from being literally canon. Their dynamic is the funniest, they both find each other attractive (explicitly, out loud, honestly discussed) and while they hold back to maintain boundaries, they only bond more and more as time passes and LOOK

– Cat/Cordelia Hasenbach. They’re opponents that are inevitably definitely obviously going to become allies and probably friends. There is no canon proof that Cordelia isn’t bi. Cordelia is one of the few human female characters Cat’s age that Cat HASN’T gone on a paragraph-long ogle about, and they definitely dislike each other, and it’s inevitably going to melt into mutual respect and admiration at some point and like. Look,

– Cat/Rozala Malanza. They instantly had a super entertaining banter dynamic despite Rozala’s better judgement, the possibility of them sleeping together came up during diplomatic negotiations in public, and while they’re currently separated by plot that’s no obstacle to fanfic

These are not, in fact, every single major female character in the series that Catherine has interacted with at any point.

Just, you know, the ones that I KNOW deep in my bones are un-notshippable by someone somewhere

(ones I actually ship myself: Cat/Killian when it was first born, Cat/Akua, Cat/Indrani, Cat/Rozala) (those are the romantic/sexual ones, the besties ships add Cat/Juniper, Cat/Aisha, Cat/Hune, Cat/Vivienne and Cat/Cordelia) (so basically these are all the ones I ship except Cat/Malicia which just gets a shout-out for blindingly obvious entertainment value if you’re not too squicked out by age gap)






No bitch 

That’s nice but the post was by a bi person upset at bisexual erasure


Not to mention the exclusion of so many het relationships with trans people but that’s besides the point.

Let bi/pan/poly people have their relationships represented too, regardless of if they’re hetero.

Yo m/f ships are rly important to me as a bi person.

do you want a really fun m/f ship?

do you want an m/f ship between an aroace guy and a pan girl?

do you want an m/f ship between the ultimate nerd™ and the ultimate jock™ who turn out to have weirdly much in common?

do you want an m/f ship that’s based around shared cluelessness about most of society and shared thinking patterns and shared interests?

do you want an m/f ship that their other friends are afraid to breathe on because even in-universe it’s very obviously the most adorable thing in existence?

do you want an m/f ship that’s the least het thing ever?

a practical guide to evil has you covered


Not to be hetty spaghetti on main (the two characters i hc as bi so like whatever) but I genuinely think lotta and larry would make a good couple?

They’re goofy, fun characters; i really feel they’re on a similar wavelength. Lotta knows she doesn’t HAVE to help larry better himself (no one is obligated to do this for a partner and quite frankly its a really awful trope that mainstream media seems to love), like she’s not his THERAPIST or anything but she doesn’t take his shit, and understands that he’s coming from a place of sincerity and genuinely wants to see him express that in more healthy ways

Also like cmon they’d totally make great art buddies. Lotta could give larry lots of art reference photos and larry would make her a fursona


me: a relationship that is based on mutual love and trust and features both parties wanting to improve not just themselves but each other through their love, is good and interesting no matter if it’s a straight relationship or a relationship between two men or two women, and is infinitely more satisfying to watch develop in fiction compared to two characters who hate each other and continue to do so into their romantic relationship

The Straights™: not me 😄 I love relationships 👬👫 where both 2️⃣ parties ✌️ DESPISE 💔 EACH 👻 OTHER 😾 and cant STAND ⚡️ interacting 🙅 with one🌜another 🌛!!!! it’s even better 👌👌 when they are so toxic for each other 😷 that they hurt one another 💅